Just Black Girl Things: On Loving my 4C Hair (or at least trying to.)

On Loving my 4C Hair (or at least trying to.)

When I decided to go natural my junior year of high school, I was a young girl in search of her identity and after finding the Long Hair Care Forum and seeing the beauty that was the black woman's hair, I knew that going natural was what I had to do.

I expected to have perfect clumped spiral curls, like all of my favorite YouTube hair gurus. I had long envied the Dominican and Puerto-rican girls in my neighborhood. Coming from Nigeria, I had never encountered people like them and their hair was amazing in my eyes, the very best to be had.

I started transitioning, dreaming of 3C hair and silently, but purposefully hoping I didn't end up with anything kinkier than 4a. But, I was wrong and I'm partly grateful for that. While many naturals grow to love their locks early on into their hair journey, I found myself in an opposite direction, loathing my hair.

In having 4c hair, I felt as though I had the worst kind of natural hair there was.

I was still in the mindset that a looser texture was better because it was more socially acceptable, and seemingly easier to handle. I texturized it till it turned into limp, noodly waves and I relaxed it till it turned dry and brittle. I remember when I'd barrel-curl it daily with tons of hairspray, causing tons and tons of heat damage. I remember the annoyance I'd feeling looking at my hair after yet another failed hairstyle or hair treatment that completely wasn't for me. All of those times have brought me to this moment and while I wish I knew what I knew then about my hair, I have nothing for gratitude about this journey.

One texturizer, one relaxer, two mini-chops and 6 years later, I'm in a place where I can say that I love my 4c hair and I finally understand it.

Guys, it feels good...it feels extremely good.

Choosing to wear your hair in its natural state (without relaxers or texturizers and other chemicals which permanently alter your hair type) is a big deal for black women. In the past and till this very day, we have been mocked for our natural hair, while eurocentric standards of long, straight manes maintain a stronghold as the highest standard of beauty. Therefore choosing to wear our hair in it's natural state, proudly and with honor, is a revolutionary act in and of itself. It's a crucial part of the journey in self-love that black and other women of color have to go through in this society.

I remember looking at my hair, a few days ago, after washing it and finally feeling love and pride for my hair. For the first time, in forever, I felt the need to genuinely care for my hair.

I had begun to love my 4c hair.

My kinky-coily 4C hair.

My hair, with roots, deep like my Nigerian ancestry.

It's a beautiful thing, when you stop hating yourself.

There are corporations, and beauty conglomerates built upon women, like me, hating ourselves and every ounce  of love  we give ourselves is the most powerful and quietest revolution that we can ever have.

Stay tuned for a post on how I care for my low porosity and coarse 4C hair!

Love & Light,
Rachel.

Rachel.