(Dawn)ing

I wake up at the ass-crack of dawn, groggily put on my athletic gear, lace up my sneakers and grab my water-bottle.
I head out, rising alongside the sun and breathing in the crisp morning air.
It''s 6am and I'm heading to the gym.
This morning routine has been a part of my life that gives me remarkable balance, stability and an overwhelming sense of accomplishment.  Regular exercise keeps my eating disorder and most important, puts me in a position where I am in control of my growth and change.
Alongside all these positives, come the negatives.

Let's take it back to 6am. I'm walking to the gym. A man walks past me, and whispers under his breath about me. Another man walks pasts but takes the time to ogle my body.  Another man in a car, honks at me, and gives me a kissy face.
It's 6am. I'm in athletic gear and I'm heading to the gym.

Walk. Stares. Inappropriate advances. 

Walk. 

Rinse, repeat.

Headphones in, head high, face blank.

I walk on.

 They're not worth my words.
It's 6:20am and I'm at the gym. I walk in and multiple men stare at me while they workout. I head to my area of choice,scope the area, mainly to minimize the number of eyes that can leer at me while I workout because god forbid, I have to stretch in front of any of these people.
I. by no means, think I'm that much of a looker. Do I think I'm beautiful? Yes.
Do I think my looks warrant the kind of attention that I receive at the gym? No. I'm as regular as regular gets, especially at 6am in the morning when I've really done that can be seen as beautification is wash my face with cold water.

I go to the gym, with the aim to work hard, train harder and push myself. I go there to sweat and push the limits of my body. I go there to remind myself that I am capable of growth, and upward mobility with my mental, physical and emotional being. I do not pay a gym membership for male attention. I do not pay a gym membership to meet men. I do  not pay a gym membership to be oogled at like a juicy steak.

I go to the gym for me, and no one else. I deserve the right to workout in peace, without having to worry about the stares I may be getting from people, especially when I do certain exercises or when I take off my sports jacket or re-adjust my tights.
 It angers me, knowing that in this society, my body is not mine.
It never was and may very well never be.
It belongs to gazing eyes.
It belongs to desire.
It's forever tied to lust.
It's only function is to give.
It is there simply for the taking.
Objectification knows no context or boundaries.
To them, to the world, we are things made for the male gaze and sexual consumption en masse.
A thing is a thing, but we are so much more.

 - Rachel.