True Life: I'm a Big Ol' Cry Baby.

One thing I've learned and I'm constantly learning is that it's okay to be me.

I've been beating myself up for years, for being too emotional, too high strung, for being me.

I found myself on the train today, blasting music in my ears, hoping it'll stifle my urge to cry, beating myself up once again for being me.

I'm a very emotional person, but I've learned to mask it quite well until I'm in comfortable settings. However, if you're quite close to me, you know I can start crying at the drop of a hat for numerous reasons. I've tried for years to become harder, and less emotional because my tendency to cry has always been seen as a source of weakness.

As a woman, the last thing I want is to be seen as the "emotional crying girl" but, essentially that is what I am and I'm here to tell you that there is a vast amount of strength in that.

I let myself feel things.

I don't suppress how I feel.

I let it out.

While crying can be emotionally humbling, it's also quite cleansing. I wash away my fears, anxieties, problems and worries with those tears. I confront my emotions head on and come out victorious every time. I don't let my feelings fester and rot my heart from the inside out.

I let it out, so my heart, soul, mind and body has space for good experiences.

I let go so I have space for  laughter, smiles, pleasant glances at strangers and babies.

I let go so I can forgive and move on.

Also, wit my major and future line of work, I really think the worst thing I can do is harbor negative emotions. I'm constantly in a high-stress/activity environment and in order for me to be the best I can be, I need to let go of every and anything that's weighing on my heart once I step into the classroom or the hospital.

I'm done telling myself to be less emotional. The only person I owe an obligation to in this world is myself. I owe myself honesty, and free expression of every facet of my personality.  I refuse to alter that to make space for anyone. Anyone that can't accept that part of my personality can skip right on out of my life.

I'll always be that girl that cries out of frustration, happiness, whenever "Butterfly" by Bilal & Robert Glasper comes on etc.

I'm happy to be that person.

I think it's very important to accept the parts of our personalities that are harmless but may be deemed "annoying" by others.

You are who you are.

You are as you should be.

You don't need to change to make yourself more palatable to others.

Forget whoever wants you to tame yourself to be near you.

Be like the wind, come and go as you please, and bow to no one.

You are it, baby.

Love & Light,

Rachel.